GhiraRadio
by diamondmaster
Summary: Ghirahim has a radio show... Must I say more?
1. Karane

"Alright, we have Karane on line one," Link informed Ghirahim.

The demon grumbled,"Alright, let's get this over with." Ghirahim wasn't exactly all for the idea of his own radio show. _Especially _with _Link_ for his assistant. He also didn't want to share his secrets with a bunch of idiotic people who were ignorant and completely lacking any self-awareness.

Link pressed a button and suddenly the fuzzy voice Karane came through. "Ghirahim?" the girl asked.

"That's me," the demon replied, trying to hide the disgust in his voice.

"Thank you so much for having me! I have a question."

Well, duh! What an idiot... "Mm-hmm." There was a slight pause.

"Okay, here it is. Ghirahim, what happened to your eyebrows?" Karane asked hesitantly.

Ghirahim wanted to stick his hand through the microphone and smack this girl. "My eyebrows? I, er, chopped them off," he explained.

"Why?"

"Well, you see..." There was a pause. "A Remlit. A Remlit clawed them up and I had to dispose of them, because _somebody_ dropped the horrid creature off at my doorstep at nighttime!" The demon shot an evil eye at his assistant. "Anything else you must know?!" He lost his cool when he heard Link laughing behind him.

Karane remained silent.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit frazzled right now," Ghirahim explained. Then Karane burst out laughing. Ugh.

When Karane settled down, she asked another question. "Well, where are your scars?"

The demon groaned inwardly. "It's called makeup, dear," he explained in his most fabulous voice.

"Demons wear makeup?" Karane gasped. "Guy demons?" She giggled.

Great, more juicy gossip for this chatterbox to spread. Ghirahim decided it was time to wrap this up before he said something he'd really regret. "Karane, I'm afraid we are out of time," he informed her, motioning at Link.

"Alright, thanks for sharing!" she yapped. Link flipped a switch and Karane was no longer on the line.

"Alright, GhiraRadio will be back after this short news break," the demon explained to all of his listeners. Suddenly he was off the air.


	2. Groose

"Alright, we have Groose waiting for you," Link told Ghirahim. Ugh. News breaks and ads just weren't long enough.

"Okay, put him on," the demon replied. Link flipped a switch and nodded at Ghirahim.

Another fuzzy voice came through the radio. "Alright, listen up," Groose snapped. Ghirahim was a bit taken aback by the teenager's tone-as most of his callers sounded afraid of him-but he didn't show it. Groose continued: "Let's get one thing straight. I think you're a phony, mister 'demon lord,' and in fact, I really don't think I should be callin' you. But I do have one question. Have you ever considered cutting your hair? You look like a girl."

Ghirahim snarled. "I do _not _look like a girl! It's simply my _fabulous _hair style! Sheesh. And I'm not some phony either," he grumbled.

"Uh-huh." There was a 90% chance Groose was rolling his eyes right now. Fi said so. "Well, if you _don't _look like a girl, than how can you explain the makeup?"

"I don't wear makeup!" Ghirahim protested.

"Yeah, well what if I told you I was at Karane's side while called in earlier?"

Suddenly, Ghirahim's face turned a dark shade of red. This was very rare for a demon-especially one as pale as he usually was. "Uh... Okay, so what if I do? I'm still fabulous!" he exclaimed. Well, his purple eyeliner was pretty obvious. So it was stupid to think that someone couldn't _clearly _see he was wearing makeup.

"Yeah, okay," Groose muttered halfheartedly. "Well, you still haven't explained your hair."

Ghirahim thought for a moment before replying. "My hair is the way it is because... I like it that way. I wouldn't be Ghirahim if it was cut."

"Well, you look stupid."

Ghirahim gave a halfhearted chuckle. "Take a look in the mirror. What do you want me to do, get one of those... Things?!"

Groose was now flaring up into the microphone. "NEVER TALK ABOUT MY POMPADOUR THAT WAY!" he screeched furiously. Sheesh. It's just hair.

"Calm down there, mister girly," Ghirahim said with a smirk. By now Link was on the floor laughing in the background.

"My pompadour," Groose growled through most likely clenched fists, "is a sexy element of who I am... It works on the ladies," he added.

"Ha!" Ghirahim exclaimed,"You think _you _get a lot of ladies." At that moment Ghirahim flexed his muscles(even though Link was the only person who could see him). The boy, whom had sat up by now, frowned awkwardly behind the demon.

"Really? Then how come a lot of people say you're gay?" Groose questioned.

Ghirahim motioned at Link and the boy cut Groose off. "Now, next caller," the demon ordered.


	3. Impa

Link looked a little bit puzzled. "But you just hung up on him," he protested.

Suddenly the boy's eyes widened as Ghirahim approached him and cornered him, instantly becoming inches away from his face. "_He_," Ghirahim snarled faintly, "went a bit _too_ _far._" With that, the demon whirled around, leaving Link clutching the wall with a shocked look on his face, which clearly read 'help me.' The boy straightened up shakily and walked over to his panel of buttons and switches. With Ghirahim's approval, he took the next caller in line off hold.

A few moments went by. Then a voice came through. "Ghirahim," a somewhat feminine voice snarled. "It's Impa."

_Oh crap, _Ghirahim thought. "What could _you _possibly want?" he snapped. Why was this old hag calling him?

"How _dare _you call me a dog?!"

Oh no. It wasn't old Impa. Ghirahim chuckled. "Uh, well, _madame, _maybe it's time you took a look in the mirror."

"Oh really? And what in the name of Hylia is that supposed to mean?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you?"

Impa growled.

"Oh, right, you're one of the slower ones." The demon was ignoring Link, who was clenching and unclenching his fists behind him. "Well," he continued, "Quite frankly, I think I called you a dog because you _are_ one."

"_That's enough!_" Impa shrieked.

"Hey, I'm not the one who called," Ghirahim stated.

"Good point.." Impa sighed with defeat.

"Hey, don't go home and sulk." Ghirahim's voice was filled with sarcasm.

"Well..." Impa thought for a few moments. "While I'm here, I suppose I _do _have one question. Do you like cheeseburgers?"

_Is she... Insane?_ Ghirahim was now seriously considering this to be a possibility. But he answered the same as he would anyone else. "Puh-leeze," he replied dramatically, "That food is for people of your... State. Hey, this don't just happen!" The demon once again flexed his muscles, forgetting no one could see him. Except for Link. Poor Link. Poor, poor Link. Before Impa could reply, Ghirahim exclaimed, "My my, we are out of time. Thanks for calling.. I guess," he said with a shrug, motioning to Link. The boy cut the caller off.


	4. Fledge

"Who's next?" Ghirahim asked his assistant. The demon had just returned to his radio show from a two hour lunch break.

"Demise," Link replied.

"What?" The nervousness in Ghirahim's voice was unmistakable.

"You heard me. I'll put him on." Link's hand moved forward to take the caller off hold.

"Wait!" Ghirahim cried. Then, in a calmer tone he added, "Are there any.. Other callers?"

"I'm just kidding, Debbie. Sheesh."

"Don't call me that," Ghirahim snapped. "And that's so not funny."

Link was laughing lightly.

"Quit fooling around! Who's the _real _caller?"

"My classmate Fledge."

Ghirahim didn't want to talk to such a wimpy failure right now. "Ugh. Put him on." The boy hastily put the caller on the air.

It took a couple moments, but finally Fledge came through. "Ghirahim?" Fledge asked hesitantly.

"What," Ghirahim snapped a bit too harshly.

"Er, I'm sorry!" Fledge cried. "Lord Ghirahim."

"Sorry Fledge," Ghirahim muttered, "I'm just.. In a mood right now."

"Oh, is this a bad time to call?"

"It's a radio show! You can call whenever," Ghirahim growled. Just how stupid can one be?

"Oh. Again, my apologies."

What an idiot. "Well? Don't you have something to ask me?"

"Yes, actually. What do you do in winter?"

"Umm... What?" Was he crazy?

"I said, what do you do in winter? Don't you get cold? I mean, your garments _are _full of holes..."

"Fledge, a demon's heart is cold. I _thrive_ in the cold."

"Okay... But why is your outfit full of holes?"

"Because... I'm fabulous like that."

"Uh-huh. So... Doesn't it feel just a _little _awkward? I'd feel so... Er, exposed."

"Yeah, well. It's not awkward when you're a super flossy demon who makes others gawk in awe at his fabulousness."

Fledge was silent for awhile. When he spoke, he sounded hesitant. "Well then..."

"I'm sorry, but we must move on to the next caller now," Ghirahim explained with a smirk.


End file.
